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My family was sitting in a church pew while the entire congregation had their heads bowed in prayer. In the celestial silence I heard my 2-year-old son scream.

So did everyone else sitting within earshot of our family. Sacrilegious or not, it was hilarious. Any parent can attest that when a little boy discovers he has a penis, all social norms go out the door.

They will grab, pull and point out their private parts in public with the greatest of enthusiasm. They also tend to be completely confused when you explain that not everyone has one.

For every mom who wonders if her son is the only one obsessed with his genitalia, never fear. These 10 hilarious stories prove every boy is the king of his own penis party.

One mom of two recalled how her 3-year-old, wanting to decorate his penis, wrapped a Jake and the Neverland Pirates Band-Aid around it.

She was completely freaked out, which caused him to also panic. Upset, she called her husband, who had absolutely no chill either. A first-time mommy diligently taught her thenyear-old the correct terminology for his body, including his boy parts.

She remembers the first time he used the proper word for his genitalia while sitting in the tub, pulling and stretching himself so vigorously she worried he might seriously do some damage.

My penis feels great! A mom of two remembered the time her young son thought his penis was doing performance art.

An aunt and mother shared the time she heard her nephew refer to his privates as a ballpark favorite. My sister and brother-in-law have no idea where that came from!

Some laughed. Some pretended to look away, but few actually could. They were in the woods just off the recess field, their perimeter was guarded by fourth and fifth grade boys.

Maria Bella and Debbie Fancy followed. Maria Bella knelt alongside her. She placed the tip of her index finger on the shaft and the penis hardened further.

She put her finger on, too, right at the tip. Then Billy Kanes, a fourth grader, came racing through the scrub. Violently, the girls on the periphery scattered into the woods.

They disappeared quickly up the paths through the low scrub. Before they could be identified, they would all find hidden exits onto the playing field.

But Kathy and Maria were slow getting up from where they knelt. Soil stuck to the knees they exposed between mini-skirts and the tops of white go-go boots.

And Rosie was having trouble pressing his erection back into his jeans. Then Mrs. Morawski appeared. Rosie was a new kid.

They lived at the edge of a sod field stadiums wide. You could see their house all the way from 25A. It looked like a red Monopoly hotel at the corner of a ping-pong table.

There may have been some trouble in his last school, something to do with Rosie in the shower after gym class.

He moved into the basement where he slept on the couch, and he acted like he preferred that, but there was more to the story. No one, not even Rosie when he arrived, could explain why Rosie was called Rosie.

His real name was John Scratchley. His hair was very short, a crew cut, the kind boys got when they got into trouble, but you could see that it was blond.

Principal Siegel was new, too, but not as new as Rosie. He drummed the fingers of one hand on his desk and continued to watch their faces.

You could hear a watch tick, and sounds from the hall filtered in like echoes in a tunnel. They laughed against their efforts to hold in the laughter.

It seemed almost like the harder they tried to stop, the more the laughter poured forth. Principal Siegel continued drumming his fingers, for a minute, another minute, an eternity.

When they looked up this time, Principal Siegel was reaching for the phone. Mrs Bella pushed Maria out the door. She fixed the glasses hanging round her neck onto the bridge of her nose.

She entered an empty classroom whose unlocked doors opened onto a staircase to the side drive. She flashed across the drive faster than a squirrel, and back home she ignored the ringing telephone and watched cartoons.

Kathy was something of a leader.

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A mom of two remembered the time her young son thought his penis was doing performance art. An aunt and mother shared the time she heard her nephew refer to his privates as a ballpark favorite.

My sister and brother-in-law have no idea where that came from! A mother of a now fully grown, adult son laughed while sharing her fond memory of his public masturbation on an Amtrak train.

We were surrounded by friends and family who cheered as my newborn peed a nice arc in the air. The next morning, my 3-year-old stood and peed on the living room floor.

He seemed bewildered by the lack of comparable enthusiasm by those same adults seated nearby! One 3-year-old asked his mom why girls peed out of their butts instead of their dinkles.

One mom rushed to see what the commotion was about and found her son standing up with his penis in his hands, with a look of complete shock.

Bryanne Salazar. View All. Tags Boys. Leave a Comment Comments are closed. More Stories from Parenting.

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They were in the woods just off the recess field, their perimeter was guarded by fourth and fifth grade boys.

Maria Bella and Debbie Fancy followed. Maria Bella knelt alongside her. She placed the tip of her index finger on the shaft and the penis hardened further.

She put her finger on, too, right at the tip. Then Billy Kanes, a fourth grader, came racing through the scrub.

Violently, the girls on the periphery scattered into the woods. They disappeared quickly up the paths through the low scrub.

Before they could be identified, they would all find hidden exits onto the playing field. But Kathy and Maria were slow getting up from where they knelt.

Soil stuck to the knees they exposed between mini-skirts and the tops of white go-go boots. And Rosie was having trouble pressing his erection back into his jeans.

Then Mrs. Morawski appeared. Rosie was a new kid. They lived at the edge of a sod field stadiums wide. You could see their house all the way from 25A.

It looked like a red Monopoly hotel at the corner of a ping-pong table. There may have been some trouble in his last school, something to do with Rosie in the shower after gym class.

He moved into the basement where he slept on the couch, and he acted like he preferred that, but there was more to the story. No one, not even Rosie when he arrived, could explain why Rosie was called Rosie.

His real name was John Scratchley. His hair was very short, a crew cut, the kind boys got when they got into trouble, but you could see that it was blond.

Principal Siegel was new, too, but not as new as Rosie. He drummed the fingers of one hand on his desk and continued to watch their faces.

You could hear a watch tick, and sounds from the hall filtered in like echoes in a tunnel. They laughed against their efforts to hold in the laughter.

It seemed almost like the harder they tried to stop, the more the laughter poured forth. Principal Siegel continued drumming his fingers, for a minute, another minute, an eternity.

When they looked up this time, Principal Siegel was reaching for the phone. Mrs Bella pushed Maria out the door. She fixed the glasses hanging round her neck onto the bridge of her nose.

She entered an empty classroom whose unlocked doors opened onto a staircase to the side drive. She flashed across the drive faster than a squirrel, and back home she ignored the ringing telephone and watched cartoons.

Kathy was something of a leader. Of all the girls, she developed noticeable breasts first, early in the 5th grade. Maria had been felt up once.

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Ich tue Abbitte, es nicht ganz, was mir notwendig ist. Es gibt andere Varianten?

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